Neural pathways for forgetting bad smells

This 2015 New York fruit fly study found:

“Forgetting is regulated by multiple neural pathways that impinge upon a memory center.

Forgetting over time and the acute forgetting of conflicting memory during reversal learning rely on separable neural circuits.

Inactivating these neurons inhibits memory decay without altering learning, whereas activating them promotes forgetting. These neurons [include] a cluster of dopaminergic neurons and a pair of glutamatergic neurons.

Although activity of these neurons is required for memory decay over time, they are not required for acute forgetting during reversal learning. Our results thus not only establish the presence of multiple neural pathways for forgetting in Drosophila but also suggest the existence of diverse circuit mechanisms of forgetting in different contexts.”

Here’s a 3D view of the glutamatergic neurons:

http://movie-usa.glencoesoftware.com/video/10.1073/pnas.1512792112/video-2

http://www.pnas.org/content/112/48/E6663.full “Dissecting neural pathways for forgetting in Drosophila olfactory aversive memory”

An interview with Dr. Rachel Yehuda on biological and conscious responses to stress

How Trauma and Resilience Cross Generations

“The purpose of epigenetic changes, I think, is simply to increase the repertoire of possible responses.

So let’s say, for some reason, your parents transmitted to you biologic changes that are very appropriate to starvation, but you don’t live in a culture where food is not plentiful.

You’re just not optimized, but I think that if we develop an awareness of what the biologic changes from stress and trauma are meant to do, then I think we can develop a better way of explaining to ourselves what our true capabilities and potentials are.


What I hear from trauma survivors — what I’m always struck with is how upsetting it is when other people don’t help, or don’t acknowledge, or respond very poorly to needs or distress.


Feel it instead of running to someone to give you a sleeping pill.”

Transcript: http://www.onbeing.org/program/rachel-yehuda-how-trauma-and-resilience-cross-generations/transcript/7791

A molecular study of the epigenetic regulation of memory

This 2015 Norwegian rodent study provided:

“New insights into the molecular underpinnings of synaptic plasticity.

We report the first global transcriptome [all RNA found in specific cells] analysis of in vivo synaptic plasticity, using the well-established model of LTP [long-term potentiation, an increase in synaptic strength that underlies memory] in the rat dentate gyrus [a region of the hippocampus where neurogenesis occurs].

We have identified a number of novel lncRNAs [long (more than 200 nucleotides) noncoding (non-protein coding) RNA] that are dynamically regulated in response to LTP. In addition, we also observed an altered expression of multiple classes of repeat elements [mobile DNA sequences often involved in mutations] including retrotransposons [a repeat element type formed by copy-and-paste mechanisms].

The results presented here reveal a vast extension of mRNAs [messenger RNA, a large RNA that carries codes for protein production] previously not associated with neuronal plasticity; the discovery of extensive, dynamic regulation of lncRNAs, repeat elements, and tRNA [transfer RNA that links mRNA and amino acids during protein production] following LTP induction in the adult rat brain.

These findings provide a broader foundation for elucidating the transcriptional and epigenetic regulation of synaptic plasticity.”

Regarding lncRNA:

“We annotate a total of 10,256 novel lncRNAs in the rat transcriptome.

To infer possible functions of lncRNAs, we correlated [71] differentially expressed lncRNAs with regulated protein coding genes.

There are no established rules for predicting the function of lncRNAs.”

Regarding repeat elements:

“It is intriguing to consider that expression of repeat elements during LTP is the first step toward retrotransposition and reshaping of the neuronal genome. A hypothetical mechanism for how these repeat elements could be linked to memory, would be that a certain stimuli, whether it is stress or a learning task (here LTP), deregulate the repression of repeat elements which are then rapidly and transiently transcribed. These elements reinsert themselves back into the genome of stimulated neurons where they influence the expression of neighboring genes.

The present work supports the intriguing hypothesis that dynamic retrotransposition may act as a molecular means to reprogram the neuronal genome as part of long-term synaptic plasticity and memory formation.”

See RNA as a proxy signal for context-specific biological activity for more about lncRNA.

http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fnins.2015.00351/full “Dynamic expression of long noncoding RNAs and repeat elements in synaptic plasticity”

The roles of DNA methylation and demethylation in forming memories

This 2015 Alabama combined animal and human review noted:

“Memories can last a lifetime, yet the proteins that enable synaptic plasticity, allowing for the establishment and maintenance of the memory trace, are subject to perpetual turnover.

DNA methylation may likely serve as the principle cellular information storage device capable of stably and perpetually regulating cellular phenotype.”

The authors developed a framework for understanding disparate findings of DNA methylation and demethylation concerning memory.


The dependencies expressed in the framework among the numerous factors – with their relative strengths, timings, and durations – reminded me of this video:

1) If such an error-prone framework accurately reflected the evolved architecture of our memory, we wouldn’t have the variety and number and intensity of memories that we have.

2) The framework neither accounted for prenatal memory processes nor differentiated emotional memories, although some of the referenced studies’ findings were applicable.

3) DNA methylation and demethylation aren’t the entirety of memory formation explanations. For example, they don’t explain state-dependent memories that can be instantiated, reactivated, and amnesia induced without involving “the proteins that enable synaptic plasticity” described in the authors’ framework. For completeness, the authors could have assessed the relative contributions of other memory processes, or at least enumerated them.

4) DNA methylation and demethylation explanations don’t cover all epigenetic biochemical processes. There are also placental interactions, histone/protein interactions, microRNA interactions, etc. For completeness, the authors could have placed the review’s topic within appropriate contexts of other epigenetic processes that influence memory.

This review of DNA methylation and demethylation roles in memory formation opened up a few slats in the blind covering one window. There’s more to be done to fully open that blind, and more window blinds to be opened before the workings of our memory are illuminated.

http://nro.sagepub.com/content/21/5/475.full “DNA Methylation in Memory Formation: Emerging Insights”

A review of the epigenetic basis for mental illness

This 2015 New York combined animal and human review of epigenetic studies noted:

“While genetic factors are important in the etiology of most mental disorders, the relatively high rates of discordance among identical twins, particularly for depression and other stress-related syndromes, clearly indicate the importance of additional mechanisms.

Environmental factors such as stress are known to play a role in the onset of these illnesses.

Exposure to such environmental insults induces stable changes in gene expression, neural circuit function, and ultimately behavior, and these maladaptations appear distinct between developmental versus adult exposures.

Increasing evidence indicates that these sustained abnormalities are maintained by epigenetic modifications in specific brain regions.”

Placing the “maladaptations” and “sustained abnormalities” phrases into their contexts:

  • A fetus biologically adapted to their environment – however toxic it was – in order to best survive.
  • These adaptations for survival were subsequently viewed as Disrupted Neurodevelopment and “maladaptations” from the perspectives of normal development and environments.
  • The “sustained abnormalities” caused within the earlier environments “are maintained by epigenetic modifications.” An improved environment wasn’t impetus enough to change developmental “maladaptations.”

Per the below link, it’s been a month since this review was published. Why has there been ZERO news coverage of it?

One reason may be that the Friedman Brain Institute, Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, didn’t issue a press release or otherwise publicize it. Another reason may be the groups that are opposed to its findings:

  • Parents who provided harmful environments for their children, beginning at conception;
  • People who feel threatened when scientific causal evidence resonates with what happened in their own lives, and in response, limit their empathetic understanding of others’ problems;
  • Social workers, psychologists, and others in industries whose paychecks depend on efforts that aren’t directed towards ameliorating the causes for these later-life effects;
  • Psychiatrists and medical personnel whose livelihoods depend on pharmaceutical and other treatments that only alleviate symptoms;
  • Researchers whose funding depends on producing non-etiologic findings.

Despite resistance to this review’s findings, a large number of people would benefit from publicizing evidence for:

“These sustained abnormalities are maintained by epigenetic modifications in specific brain regions.”

http://nro.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/09/24/1073858415608147 “Epigenetic Basis of Mental Illness”

Conclusions without evidence regarding emotional memories

The last sentence in the Significance section of this 2015 Emory/Harvard rodent study was:

“These data highlight the potential to exploit sensory system plasticity as a means of ameliorating negative emotional memories that may be tied to peripheral sensory systems.”

The “ameliorating negative emotional memories” part of this statement was incongruent with what the study actually found, as summarized by the Abstract’s last sentence:

“These data suggest that learning-induced freezing behavior, structural alterations, and enhanced neural sensory representation can be reversed in adult mice following extinction training.”

The study performed fear extinction experiments. The researchers and reviewer knew or should have known about prior studies such as Fear extinction is the learned inhibition of retrieval of previously acquired responses whose findings demonstrated that fear extinction doesn’t depend on memory retrieval.

Based on the previous research, the subjects’ “negative emotional memories” possibly weren’t affected at all by the current study’s extinction experiments!

The researchers provided neither direct evidence for “ameliorating negative emotional memories” nor studied areas of the subjects’ brains that contained or processed emotional memories, such as the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex. But – after all – Harvard.

What purposes did it serve for the researchers to make a Significance statement about “ameliorating negative emotional memories” when this wasn’t supported by the study’s findings? What part did the reviewer play in approving this statement?


Where was the study’s evidence to support the headline and statements in the news release such as:

“New Study Indicates That Sense of Smell Could Play Major Role in New Approaches to Treating PTSD

It’s possible for fear behaviors associated with emotional learning to be reversed through exposure-based talk therapy.”

Could this rodent study’s olfactory system findings be properly extrapolated to human talk therapy?

NO! But – Harvard.

http://www.pnas.org/content/112/41/12846.full “Extinction reverses olfactory fear-conditioned increases in neuron number and glomerular size”

Stress-induced epigenetic DNA modifications may be inherited

This 2015 Australian plant summary study made several points:

“Non-transmission of epigenetic marks through meiosis may be regarded as an epigenetic modification in itself. We should understand the implications for plant evolution in the context of both selection for and selection against transgenerational epigenetic memory.

Both epigenetic inheritance and resetting are mechanistically directed and targeted. Stress-induced epigenetic modifications may buffer against DNA sequence-based evolution to maintain plasticity, or may form part of plasticity’s adaptive potential.

In some cases the signature of the stress experience remains in the epigenome after relief from the stress, providing a “memory.” If this memory conditions the response to stress during subsequent development, the organism is said to be epigenetically primed. If the memory of the stress experienced by a parent conditions the response of its progeny, this epigenetic priming may be transgenerational.

Epigenetic and genetic variation co-evolve. Epigenetic plasticity does not completely buffer evolvability and reduce the correlation between fitness and genotype, slowing selection.”

One of the summarized studies found that a transgenerational epigenetic change eventually silenced itself after the 40th copy!

The Are stress-induced epigenetic changes to DNA inherited across generations? study was cited, although it argued for the opposing viewpoint.

http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpls.2015.00699/full “Transgenerational inheritance or resetting of stress-induced epigenetic modifications: two sides of the same coin”

Genetic causes for epigenetic symptoms

This 2015 human summary study was of 44 genetic disorders that disrupt the maintenance of epigenetic modifications:

“..making them likely to have significant downstream epigenetic consequences. Interestingly, these patients often demonstrate neurological dysfunction, suggesting that precise epigenetic regulation may be critical for neuronal homeostasis. However, at the same time, it is important to keep in mind that many of these proteins have additional non-epigenetic roles.

Mutations in many of these components have now been linked to a number of well-known causes of intellectual disability. Intellectual disability is generally defined as deficits of intellectual function and adaptive behavior that occur during the developmental period.

Given the opposing activity of many of the components of the epigenetic machinery, the pathogenic sequence in these disorders involves an imbalance of chromatin states. Keeping a subset of genes under “pressure” from two opposing systems may allow the cellular system to rapidly respond to environmental stimuli.

These disorders, on average, have unusual phenotypic breadth. Similarly, there is a shift in distribution toward a higher number of organ systems affected.

In addition to developmental phenotypes (multiple congenital anomalies), in some cases there appear to be ongoing defects that remain consequential in post-natal life. An example of the latter is the hippocampal memory defects seen in many of the mouse models.

This raises the question whether cells undergoing neurogenesis and synaptogenesis are particularly sensitive to subtle defects of the epigenetic machinery and downstream epigenetic abnormalities. A major remaining question is whether neurogenesis defects and/or abnormalities of synaptic plasticity are a unifying pathophysiological process.”

The researchers represented the 44 genetic disorders on a wheel graph:

F1.large

I look forward to further research that includes non-genetic disruptors of epigenetic modifications.

http://genome.cshlp.org/content/25/10/1473.full “The Mendelian disorders of the epigenetic machinery”

What can cause memories that are accessible only when returning to the original brain state?

This 2015 French rodent study found:

“Memories can be established and maintained without de novo protein synthesis and that experimental amnesia may not result from a disruption of memory consolidation/reconsolidation.

Posttraining/postreactivation treatments induce an internal state, which becomes encoded with the memory, and should be present at the time of testing to ensure a successful retrieval.

This integration concept includes most of the previous explanations of memory recovery after retrograde amnesia and critically challenges the traditional memory consolidation/reconsolidation hypothesis, providing a more dynamic and flexible view of memory.”

From Neuroskeptic’s analysis of the study:

“A different drug, lithium chloride, produces the same pattern of effects – it blocks ‘reconsolidation’, but this can be reversed by a second dose at the time of recall. However, lithium chloride is not an amnestic [a drug that blocks memory formation] – it doesn’t block protein synthesis. Rather, it causes nausea.

The implication of the lithium experiment is that any drug that causes an ‘internal state change’, even if it’s just nausea, can trigger state-dependent memory and behave just like an ‘amnestic’.”


As this study may apply to humans, a drug wouldn’t necessarily be required to “induce an internal state.” If the findings of studies such as Are 50 Shades of Grey behaviors learned in infancy? extend to humans, an emotional or physical experience may be sufficient to produce a state-dependent memory. For example, A study that provided evidence for basic principles of Primal Therapy found, albeit with rodents and use of a drug:

“Fear-inducing memories can be state dependent, meaning that they can best be retrieved if the brain states at encoding and retrieval are similar.”

Memories triggered while in a brain state reentered through an emotion or a physical reaction are experienced by Primal Therapy patients and observed by therapists every day. However, as mentioned in What scientific evidence can be offered for Primal Therapy’s capability to benefit people’s lives? there’s a difficulty in developing human evidence for such state-dependent emotional memories.

Standard procedures would use human subjects and control groups in a way that retrieved memories according to the researchers’ schedule and experimental parameters. In order for the retrieval of an emotional memory to be therapeutic, though, the methods of an experiential therapy such as Dr. Arthur Janov’s Primal Therapy leave the timing of entering a triggering brain state up to the patient.

When a brain state protects a human emotional memory from being accessed, it probably wouldn’t be therapeutic to:

  • Force a return to that brain state, and thereby
  • Remove the memory’s protection, then
  • Retrieve and re-experience the memory

just for the sake of research.

The evidence for retrieving and re-experiencing a state-dependent memory lies mainly within the individual’s experiences.

A challenge is to find innovative ways to document human evidence for state-dependent emotional memories while ensuring a therapeutic process.

http://www.jneurosci.org/content/35/33/11623 “Integration of New Information with Active Memory Accounts for Retrograde Amnesia: A Challenge to the Consolidation/Reconsolidation Hypothesis?”

A study that provided evidence for basic principles of Primal Therapy

This 2015 Northwestern University rodent study found:

“Fear-inducing memories can be state dependent, meaning that they can best be retrieved if the brain states at encoding and retrieval are similar.

Memories formed in a particular mood, arousal or drug-induced state can best be retrieved when the brain is back in that state.

‘It’s difficult for therapists to help these patients,’ Radulovic said, ‘because the patients themselves can’t remember their traumatic experiences that are the root cause of their symptoms.’

The best way to access the memories in this system is to return the brain to the same state of consciousness as when the memory was encoded.”

The study demonstrated one method of activating neurobiological pathways with a drug to remove a hippocampal memory’s protection, which played a part in enabling subjects to relive their remembered experiences. This rodent study’s methods weren’t designed to therapeutically access similarly protected memories with humans.

From the Northwestern press release:

“There are two kinds of GABA [gamma-Aminobutyric acid] receptors. One kind, synaptic GABA receptors, works in tandem with glutamate receptors to balance the excitation of the brain in response to external events such as stress.

The other population, extra-synaptic GABA receptors, are independent agents.

If a traumatic event occurs when these extra-synaptic GABA receptors are activated, the memory of this event cannot be accessed unless these receptors are activated once again.

‘It’s an entirely different system even at the genetic and molecular level than the one that encodes normal memories,’ said lead study author Vladimir Jovasevic, who worked on the study when he was a postdoctoral fellow in Radulovic’s lab.

This different system is regulated by a small microRNA, miR-33, and may be the brain’s protective mechanism when an experience is overwhelmingly stressful.

The findings imply that in response to traumatic stress, some individuals, instead of activating the glutamate system to store memories, activate the extra-synaptic GABA system and form inaccessible traumatic memories.”

I’d point out that “can’t remember” and “inaccessible traumatic memories” phrases used above were in reference to what’s usually called “memory” i.e., a recall initiated by the cerebrum.


The study’s findings should inform memory-study researchers if they care to understand how emotional memories can be formed and re-experienced.

The study provided evidence for fundamentals of Dr. Arthur Janov’s Primal Therapy, such as:

  • Experiences associated with pain can be remembered below our conscious awareness.
  • The retrieval and re-experiencing of emotional memories can engage our lower-level brain areas without our higher-level brain areas’ participation.

The obvious nature of this study’s straightforward experimental methods made me wonder why other researchers hadn’t used the same methods decades ago.

Use of this study’s methodology could have resulted in dozens of informative follow-on study variations by now, and subsequently found whether subjects’ physiological, behavioral, and epigenetic measurements differed from control group subjects, as in:

“miR-33 is downregulated in response to gaboxadol [the drug used to change subjects’ brain state] and modulates its effects on state-dependent fear.”


See Resiliency in stress responses for abstracts of three follow-on papers by these researchers.

http://www.nature.com/neuro/journal/v18/n9/full/nn.4084.html “GABAergic mechanisms regulated by miR-33 encode state-dependent fear”

MP3 with lead researcher Dr. Jelena Radulovic: http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/specials/show/20150825/

Leaky gates, anxiety, and grocery store trips without buying list items

An interview with Jeff Link, the editor of Dr. Arthur Janov’s 2011 book “Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script that Rules Our Lives” with Ken Rose:

“Even further confirmation for some of the views of Janov, that maybe weren’t widely accepted for a time, it’s new research now being done into memory and what a lot of scientist are seeing, a lot of different studies is that memory reactivates the same neuroimpulses that were initially firing off when the event happened.

So a traumatic event when you remember it, the act of remembering it is actually creating a neuromirror of what went on initially.

In a lot of ways that is what Primal Therapy is attempting to do; is to go back to that place and reconnect, or as it’s sometimes referred to, reconsolidate the brain state so that real healing can take place.”

Transcript (part 4 of 6): http://cigognenews.blogspot.com/2015/09/ken-rose-on-life-before-birth-part-46.html

MP3: http://www.pantedmonkey.org/podcastgen/download.php?filename=2011-12-15_1300_what_now_jeff_link.mp3

Adverse effects of inflammation and stress on hippocampal synapses

This dense and highly-jargoned 2015 rodent study found:

“The suppression of BDNF [brain-derived neurotrophic factor] signaling, LTP [long-term potentiation], and memory may be driven by an increased sensitivity to IL-1β [the proinflammatory cytokine interleukin 1β] that occurs directly at synapses.”

The researchers reversed the adverse effects of IL-1β after they induced stress and inflammation. Blocking IL-1β when there wasn’t stress or inflammation, however, also caused adverse effects:

“Interestingly, administration of AS1 [the compound that blocked the proinflammatory responses] in the absence of LPS [the bacterial compound used to stress the subjects’ immune systems] treatment also impaired OLM [the object location memory test where control group rodents exhibited a preference for a novel location over a familiar location].

This finding is consistent with the notion that endogenous IL-1β at physiologically low levels may be essential for hippocampal memory function.”


The researchers asserted:

“Our data reveal a previously unidentified mechanism that explains the age-related vulnerability of hippocampal function to impairment by inflammation.”

Instead of couching their findings with a non-causal “age-related” term, could the researchers have specifically identified causes?

“IL-1β activates different pathways via AcP (proinflammatory) or AcPb (prosurvival) IL-1 receptor subunits.

This study demonstrates that the IL-1 receptor subunit system undergoes an age-dependent reconfiguration in hippocampal synapses.

This previously undescribed reconfiguration, characterized by an increase in the AcP/AcPb ratio, is responsible for potentiating impairments of synaptic plasticity and memory by IL-1β.”

What were the underlying causes for the relatively increased AcP activation over AcPb activation? The researchers didn’t say. Their explanations were left hanging at a correlated-but-not-causal “age-dependent” level rather than a “mechanism that explains.”

http://www.pnas.org/content/112/36/E5078.full “Synapse-specific IL-1 receptor subunit reconfiguration augments vulnerability to IL-1β in the aged hippocampus”

We first recognize familiar faces with our limbic system

This 2015 Belgian human study found:

“Medial temporal lobe structures (perirhinal cortex, amygdala, hippocampus) and anterior inferior temporal cortex responded abruptly when sufficient information for familiar face recognition was accumulated.

Activation in ventral occipitotemporal face-preferential regions increased with visual information, independently of long-term face familiarity.

[The researchers] isolated the discriminative neural responses to unfamiliar and familiar faces by slowly increasing visual information (i.e., high-spatial frequencies) to progressively reveal faces of unfamiliar or personally familiar individuals.”

A limitation of the study was, however:

“Behavioral data were acquired from only 11 subjects because of a technical error.”

http://www.pnas.org/content/112/35/E4835.full “Neural microgenesis of personally familiar face recognition”

A missed opportunity to study image-evoked emotional memories

This 2015 Ohio human study found that the:

“Hippocampus integrates distinct experiences, thereby providing a scaffold for encoding and retrieval of autobiographical memories.”

The researchers ignored the hippocampus’ role in emotional memories, although studies such as Emotional memories and out-of-body–induced hippocampal amnesia have shown emotional involvement to be desirable in order to properly study the hippocampus with human subjects.


The researchers missed quite a few good opportunities to advance science. Consider these opportunities:

  • All subjects were instructed during fMRI scans (here’s a video of one subject) to:

    “Try to remember the event depicted in each picture and relive the experience in their mind while viewing the photo for eight seconds.”

    The photos were taken during each subject’s day-to-day life by a smartphone hung around their neck. Following these instructions created an ideal situation for engaging the subjects’ emotions when they successfully remembered and relived. Although the experiment probably engaged the subjects’ emotions;

  • None of the subjects were asked anything that would lead the researchers to discover WHY the subjects remembered! The researchers had a perfect setup to make even a bare-bones inquiry, or to ask the subjects to immediately rate the emotional impact of each remembered event/relived experience, or to have them identify what emotions were evoked. But the researchers didn’t use any emotional measures to help understand how and why events were remembered or not.
  • Wouldn’t it also have potentially helped the subjects to become somewhat aware of how they processed memories, of how they felt with each remembered event/relived experience? They probably wouldn’t have remembered personally unimportant events, or forgotten personally significant ones.
  • “One subject recalled all of the items presented” and another had “very few unrecalled items.”

    Why? Weren’t the researcher interested in what was potentially the same between these two and different from the other subjects?


The researchers instead focused on rodent studies with statements such as:

“Validating the relevance of decades of rodent studies for human memory.”

They lost track of the reason rodent studies exist: to help humans.

In order for the research to help humans, move forward on the evolutionary scale, not backward! A rat or mouse can’t define and describe the emotional impact of an image of their life that evokes a memory.

http://www.pnas.org/content/112/35/11078.full “Human hippocampus represents space and time during retrieval of real-world memories”

Reflections on my four-year anniversary of spine surgery

At age 55, I found out that I’d suffered for maybe 45 to 50 years from a childhood injury, and I didn’t know anything about it. It still seems unbelievable to me that I was physically ill for decades before I received a diagnosis.

As explained to me by two surgeons, the cause of my spondylolisthesis between L5 and S1 was a sudden injury sometime between ages 5 and 10. Here’s a further explanation:

“In children, spondylolisthesis usually occurs between the fifth bone in the lower back (lumbar vertebra) and the first bone in the sacrum (pelvis) area. It is often due to a birth defect in that area of the spine or sudden injury (acute trauma).

Other causes of spondylolisthesis include bone diseases, traumatic fractures, and stress fractures (commonly seen in gymnasts). Certain sport activities, such as gymnastics, weight lifting, and football, put a great deal of stress on the bones in the lower back. They also require that the athlete constantly overstretch (hyperextend) the spine.”

I played a lot of baseball when I was a kid growing up in Miami. I didn’t suffer from a birth defect or bone disease, play football before I was a teenager, do gymnastics, or lift weights.

I don’t remember a specific “sudden injury (acute trauma)” per the above explanation. Maybe I incurred the acute trauma that started my spondylolisthesis sliding into bases playing baseball. Maybe I incurred it playing in the other rough-and-tumble activities that I did as a boy.


Please stop at the first hint of any pain that you feel while reading the rest of this post. I don’t want to cause you pain.

I re-experienced while in Primal Therapy a day when I was seven or eight years old. A most exhilarating day, one that filled me with light and joy.

What brought on my elevated mood? It was the day I finally ran faster than my father did, and he couldn’t catch me to give me a beating as I ran out of the house.

My father never beat me on the sidewalk, the street, or the front yard anyway. That would make the abuse public.

My father’s job was assistant principal/dean of boys at West Miami Junior High School. He whipped boys with a thick belt or paddled them daily as part of his job requirements.

My father kept a wooden paddle with holes in it at home. For me.

I don’t remember that my three siblings ever received a paddling or belting, although they were spanked. I’ve remembered while in Primal Therapy that my younger sister and brother were spanked for crying.

I re-experienced the dread of waiting (in an exact place with visual details), waiting for my father to come home to administer a spanking or belting or paddling to me for some “transgression” my mother observed. She had dozens of rules of conduct for her children.

I re-experienced my early childhood feelings that my father’s punishments depended more on my mother’s mood than on what I did.

I re-experienced my early childhood feelings that I didn’t deserve the beatings. I didn’t deserve any beatings, not one!

My father continued, though, until I was around age 11 or so. I’m sure that the beatings were a factor in how I felt at age 12:

Suicidal. Needing to escape from my life.

When I was a child, I needed my parents’ love.

I re-experienced many times while in Primal Therapy the overwhelming hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness, and betrayal when the people I needed to love me were cruel to me instead.


My parents knew what they did was wrong. Neither one of them ever told me that, though.

My father never apologized for beating me so much before he died 19 years ago. Even before he retired, 17 years before he died, the Miami-Dade County public school system stopped him and the rest of their employees from spanking, whipping, beating, and paddling children.

What could he even tell me to take away those experiences?

  • That he beat me as a child because he himself was beaten as a child?
  • That he couldn’t help it?
  • That how he and my mother frequently went out of their way to help me along in life after my childhood somehow made up for the beatings?

I’m certain that my father was beaten as a child. I bring this up not as a defense for what he did, but as part of my history, too.

It wasn’t enough for my father’s mother to beat me while she was babysitting my siblings and me at our parents’ house. I re-experienced crying as a five-year old when I was required to go cut off palm fronds from the tree in front of our house for her to use as a switch, and bring them to her.

It was a mark of my grandmother’s cruelty that she threatened to beat me with a broom handle when I tried to not participate in my own torment. I re-experienced exact places of my legs where she switched me with the palm fronds, giving me even more when I cried during the punishment.


These wounds left scars that haven’t gone away.

Run your hand down your spine until you reach the top of your sacrum. That’s the area on which I had surgery four years ago, where I now have a titanium cage, replacement disc, and two rods to keep the area stable.

I received a lot of beatings pretty close to that area. Maybe my boyhood activities didn’t cause the “sudden injury (acute trauma).”


I write frankly about my parents because that’s my history: the realities of who they were.

And the realities of who I needed them to be.

I express it because getting well has to address reality.

From Dr. Arthur Janov’s book, Primal Healing, page 133:

“Another cognitive technique is to help the patient understand and forgive his parents. ‘After all, your parents did the best they could. They had a pretty tough childhood too.’ ‘Oh yes, I understand. They did have it tough and I do forgive’ comes forth from the left side. Still, of course, the right side is crying out its needs and its pain, and will go on with its silent scream for the rest of our lives.

There is no way around need.

‘Forgiveness’ is an idea that has no place in therapy.

We are not here to pardon parents; we are here to address the needs of patients, and what the lack of fulfillment did to them.

I regret to say that much of current therapy and particularly cognitive therapy is about a moral position; well hidden, couched in psychological jargon, but, at bottom, moralizing. The therapist becomes the arbiter of correct behavior.

After all, the therapist is trying to change the patient’s behavior toward some preconceived goal. That goal has a sequestered moral position.”